What is it me that makes me so untrustworthy of people? I find myself fleeing from people I enjoy spending time with, just because they become imperfect in some way. What is it that so plagues my heart that I can’t just accept and unconditionally love all people I befriend. What it is that blocks my heart from opening? Is it the drama that was brought upon me, or is it that I just simply can’t handle certain romantic attention and friendships, and the power struggles that people around me so enjoy to combat in? 

I am afraid, I am fearful, and I know this, as I have known this all my life. But at this particular time in my life I am afraid of getting attached to people because I don’t want to fall so hard I get hurt. It’s not that people hurt me, it’s that I get hurt because of who I am.

You can account for blame to certain people in your life, but it is also how your mind and heart have been molded that defines what can hurt you, what you allow yourself to be hurt by, and what affects your life to the extent that you grieve without control. You control your thoughts, you have control of your own mental, physical, and emotional destiny, if you choose to take responsibility for it.